David Bowman, LMFT
Psychotherapy, Counseling, and Coaching
Recently I have been delving into the childhood messaging that gay and queer men received from their respective fathers. It struck me how many current maladaptive behaviors have roots in the problem of straight men raising gay boys. I am proud to announce that my new online course and e-book on re-parenting for gay men will be available January 2025. Father Figures: Re-fathering for Gay Men consists of 17 online activities that will help you explore your own dad’s (or father substitute’s) messaging, what you expected of him and did not get, and how you can overcome the problem of the missing gay paternal energy by creating your own ideal gay father figure.
David’s Featured Posts
The Father You Always Wanted
In an earlier article, I introduced the subject of “daddy issues,” that is, problems faced by sons who either have troubled relationships with their fathers or whose fathers were largely absent during their childhood, either physically or emotionally. In Absent...
The Mysteries of Masculinity
When I was a child, my parents gave me a framed copy of Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If,” which ends (after an endless litany of requirements) with the punch line: “You’ll be a Man, my son!” The truth is, if you can follow all the dictates outlined in that poem, you’ll be...
7 Guidelines for Successful Therapy
It is very rare that we have one, single motive or reason for doing what we do. We are mixtures of competing and colluding internal voices, both conscious and unconscious, that control our choices and range of possible behaviors. Understanding them to make intelligent...